I’ve gotten myself a little wound up lately with all the anticipation of Honduras lately.
See, I’m not there yet, but like anything soon to come, preparation is needed. And like most humans, I’ve been preoccupied with logistical and human concerns. Fundraising over $9,000, for example.
A few days my last day of school in the South Bronx, I was looking over a lovely skyline view of NYC, reflecting over the challenges and blessings of the past year.
While organizing some fundraising information, I came across a Catholic website I’d never heard of, and a particular article caught my eye. It was an interview with the husband of his deceased young wife, Chiara Corbella.(https://aleteia.org/2017/06/19/after-losing-two-babies-my-wifes-suffering-had-only-begun/)
Below is one of their wedding photos. Beautiful, no?!
The gist of their story is that they had several difficult, tragic pregnancies and yet never ceased trusting in God’s love and mercy. Losing their babies did not overcome them with grief, because they saw the value of life as beyond what most of us are able to see with a human perspective alone. Chiara became very ill and remained grateful to God even then. At the end of the article, Chiara is quoted saying,
“Whatever you do, it will only be meaningful if you think about eternal life. If you truly love, you will realize that nothing belongs to you, because everything is a gift.” -Chiara Corbella
She wrote this to her child when she knew she was dying.
Tears flooded my eyes when I read this, because my focus has been off target. I’ve been doing the normal thing where you’re concerned about normal things that happen in THIS life- food money fitness friends family work etc.
Clarity. THIS is why God is calling me to Honduras. Because eternal life is r e a l. And it’s what we were all made for. Which means God’s love for us is real and it’s time for me to trust Him a whole lot more.
Today again God told me what’s up. In today’s Gospel reading, Jesus tells his apostles:
“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,
and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
and whoever does not take up his cross
and follow after me is not worthy of me.” – Matthew 10:37-38
Speaking of family, I’m going home this week (finally! I’m coming!). Until I leave for Honduras, I’ll be with family. But for me, these verses were about God calling me to courage. Who do we follow after but the ones we not only admire but love? And yet, I catch myself following after a lot of things that are not worthy.
To me, this is no threat of God’s. As the beautiful Mrs. Corbella said, “If you truly love, you will realize that nothing belongs to you, because everything is a gift.”
He Who has loved us first simply wants our love in return. It’s a simple matter of trust and gratitude, after all. Preparing our hearts is as important than what the world sees and says we need.
After some tears of catharsis and renewed spiritual orientation, I still need to fund raise over $9,000. BUT THE GOOD LORD OF HEAVEN AND EARTH KNOWS THIS. He knows all of our concerns, and to trust this is what f a i t h is all about.
Take heart, weak one, and remember Who you love.
P.s. Learn more about my mission and help me get there by copy and pasting: https://www.youcaring.com/missionersofchristkategapp-855699?fb_action_ids=10155325508018614&fb_action_types=youcaringcom%3Ashare.